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England women's rugby star Kildunne reveals body issues struggle / Photo: © AFP/File
England women's rugby star Kildunne reveals body issues struggle
England women's rugby star Ellie Kildunne has revealed she struggled with an eating disorder and other health issues during the coronavirus lockdown.
The 26-year-old, one of the leading players in the women's game, scored five tries as the Red Roses won the World Cup last year, including a superb solo effort in a 33-13 victory over Canada in the final at a sold-out Twickenham.
The full-back also crossed the try-line as England launched the defence of their Women's Six Nations title with a 33-12 win at home to Ireland last weekend.
But Kildunne, in an interview with the BBC published Wednesday, revealed she had suffered an unhealthy weight loss and problems with eating during the pandemic.
"I could probably see myself getting a little bit smaller, but then was still trying to chase being smaller on top of that," she explained.
"I wasn't in that team environment with physios all the time, or my team-mates.
"And body dysmorphia is such a funny thing, because I would have been small but I would see myself as bigger in the mirror.
"It seems really stupid now, and I look back on it -- I don't know why I did it. But I just ended up having a terrible relationship with food.
"In the rugby world, I'm considered small, but in my world outside rugby, I was considered big, so I never really had that place where I felt comfortable, that I fit in."
In 2020, Kildunne was a member of Great Britain's rugby sevens squad, training for an Olympic Games in Tokyo which was subsequently postponed until 2021.
She broke down in tears when she eventually outlined her health issues during a chance conversation with England physio Emily Ross.
"I knew I had a problem but I never wanted to admit it and I think admitting it made it a problem," Kildunne said.
"It wasn't something that I was even trying to stop. But as soon as you say something out loud to somebody that creates accountability."
Kildunne was crowned World Player of the Year in 2024 and finished runner-up to golfer Rory McIlroy for last year's BBC Sports Personality of the Year award.
"I wouldn't say I've got a bad relationship with food now," she said. "But it's something that you've always got to be conscious of because I know that I've got those habits somewhere. I just need to make sure they don't come up."
D.Choi--SG
